Serial Computer Killer

I have an IPAD!  Didn't I tell you?  It's so fancy.  I love that it's so flat and light, you can take it anywhere with you.  Let me show you a picture of it. Sorry, I'm just so proud of it!

What?  No, that's not a regular laptop laid completely flattened out.  Laptops can't even do that.

Okay, obviously, this is my cracker-jack laptop that I like to call my IPAD because it is too crappy to sit up like a normal screen.  ISHIT would be more fitting.  I would like you to notice the left side of the computer, where the screen meets the keyboard.  Here, I'll give you a close up.

I have this problem: My past 2 laptops both somehow met their maker by the same fate.  The screens fell off.  What are the chances?  It couldn't have been something I did, could it?  I really don't think so.  I'm so responsible when it comes to expensive belongings, it couldn't have been anything I did to them.  Well, let me show you how I transport my computers from one place to another.

Right, I pick it up by the left corner of the screen and carry it around.  It's very handy.  But, I'll be damned, after having computers for only a couple of months, the screen just goes and falls off!  I'll never understand it!  I'm just going to keep on doing what I do with the hopes that my next computer will be a quality one.  

So, I'm hoping you get from my sarcastic-laden post that I know I have a problem.  One screen falls off of my computer, and it could be a combination of my negligence and a crappy computer.  But two?  Two computers meeting the same fate?  It's me.  I know it's me.  I've been punishing myself by using my ISHIT for months now, because I don't deserve another computer.  My husband disagreed with me and picked out a new one for me though!  I got it in the mail today!  It's glorious!  He did take a small part in ruining my latest one...by plugging it in while in Mexico...and now it only works when it's plugged in.  But, I did the majority of the abuse.  It's really one hell of an ISHIT.  I feel like all Ryan is doing is feeding the problem, really not facing the facts.  I just don't take care of most things I own.  In the case of computers, I feel I can be compared to Drew Peterson.  Google "Drew Peterson, wife killer" and you'll get the full story.  He beat his first and second wives, and then killed his third and fourth wives.  And guess what, he's got a fifth wife in the making.  My ISHIT is my fourth wife, and the new fancy computer that Ryan bought me is my fifth wife in the making.  She doesn't even know what's coming to her.  Maybe she should have asked around or asked Greta Van Susternan for the dish before she decided to come live with me.  It's not my fault she doesn't do her research.  I'll let you know how this one turns out.  I'm sure I'll be on truTV in no time.  Me and Drew Peterson...and Charlie Sheen.  We never learn.